I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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