There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
PANTIES FOUND
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