I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
