awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
