I love black thongs
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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