How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
