I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
