hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
