About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
