so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
