I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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