he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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