Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
