what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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