it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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