Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
