Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
