It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
