it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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