it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
