i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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