I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
