Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
