Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
