Duck Duck Cougar?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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