haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
