Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
