the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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