Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
