my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
