I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
