They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
