Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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