We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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