Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
