The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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