i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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