glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
