Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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