oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
