I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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