Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
