You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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