I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
