I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
