He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
