And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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