I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Randomize
