I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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