i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
