And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
