goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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